Steps

1. Spend more time around people. If you want to make friends, you first need to put yourself out there somehow. Friends don’t come knocking on your door while you sit at home watching TV. If the people you’re already around (e.g. at work or school) aren’t friend material for whatever reasons, it’s not the end of the world.
   • Join a club with people who have common interests. You don’t necessarily have to have a lot of common interests with people in order to make friends with them–in fact, some of the most rewarding friendships are between two people who don’t have much in common at all–but if you have something in common with people, it can make it a lot easier to start a conversation and plan activities together.
   • Join a sports team. A common misconception about this is that you have to be really good at playing a particular sport in order to make friends with others on the team, but not all teams are so competitive. As long as you enjoy the sport and support your teammates, joining a local team with a laid-back attitude could be a great way to make new friends.
   • Volunteer. Volunteering is a great way for people of all ages to meet others. By working together you build bonds with people, and you might meet others who have a passion for changing things the way you do–a common cause.
   • Get online. In general, the Internet is a great place to make friends, but… it’s also easy to invest a lot of time online with someone you think is a friend, and then you never meet them because of time and distance. Expect to have to sift through a lot of people online before you find the one or two great friends, the kind who will be there for you when you really need them. The Internet can also help you find other people around the world who share your interests even if you live in an isolated place. And even though the internet is a great place in general you still have to be cautious because not every person you meet online are who they say they are.
2. Talk to people. You can join a club, go to school, or go to church, and you still won’t make friends if you don’t actually talk to people. By the same token, you don’t have to be involved with an organization to talk to people, and any time you talk to someone, you have a chance at making a lasting friend. You can talk to anybody: the clerk at the video store, the person sitting next to you on the bus, or the person in front of you on the lunch line. Don’t be picky. Most conversations will be a dead-end of sorts, in that you may never talk to that person again or you’ll just remain acquaintances, but once in a while you’ll actually make a friend.
   • Make eye contact and smile. If you have an unfriendly countenance, people are less likely to be receptive to your friendship. Look approachable.
   • Start a conversation. There are several ways to do this; a comment about your immediate environment (the weather is a classic: “At least it’s not raining like last week!”), a request for help (“Can you help me carry a few boxes, if you have a minute?” or “Can you help me decide which one of these is a better gift for my mom?”) or a compliment (“That’s a nice car” or “I love your shoes”). Follow up immediately with a related question: Do you like warm weather? What kinds of gifts do you normally buy for your mom? Where did you get shoes like that?
   • Make small talk. Keep the conversation light and cheery. Even if you’re complaining about something, make sure it’s something you’re both dissatisfied with, and emphasize the positive–how such a situation can be avoided in the future, or alternatives. Bounce back and forth for a little bit.
   • Introduce yourself towards the end of the conversation. It can be as simple as saying “Oh, by the way, my name is…”. Once you introduce yourself, the other person will typically do the same. Remember his or her name.
3. Initiate a get-together. You can chat your heart out but it won’t get you far if you don’t open up the opportunity for another meeting. This is especially important if you meet someone who you aren’t otherwise likely to meet again. Seize the day!
   • If you’ve discovered that the person you’re talking to has a common interest, ask him or her more about it and, if appropriate, whether they get together with others, in a club, for example, to pursue this interest. If so, this is a perfect opportunity to ask about joining them. If you clearly express interest (when? where? can anyone come?) they’ll probably invite you. If you have a club, band, church, etc. that you think they might enjoy, take the opportunity to give them your number or email address and invite them to join you.
   • Ask them out for lunch or coffee. That will give you a better opportunity to talk and get to know each other a little bit better. A good way to extend yourself is to say: “Hey, well I’ve got to go, but if you ever want to talk over lunch or coffee or anything like that, let me give you my number/e-mail address.” This gives the person the opportunity to contact you; they may or may not give you their information, but that’s fine. Maybe they don’t have time for new friends–don’t take it personally! Just offer your contact info to whoever seems to be a potentially good friend, and eventually somebody will get in touch.
   • Don’t do anything to pressure someone into being friends with you. Never chide acquaintances for failing to invite you to a party, for example; don’t call someone over and over or stop by uninvited; and never overstay your welcome anywhere. In general, take friendship slowly, and don’t try to become close to somebody right away. The move from acquaintance to friend can take a long time, and if you appear too clingy, potential friends may think you’re too much work.
4. Be a good friend. Once you’ve started spending time with potential friends, remember to do your part or else the friendship will dissolve as soon as it materializes.
   • Be reliable. If you and your friend agree to meet somewhere, don’t be late, and do not stand them up. If you’re not going to make it on time or make it at all, call them as soon as you realize it. Apologize and ask to reschedule. Don’t make them wait for you–it’s rude, and not a good way to launch a friendship. When you say you’ll do something, do it. Be someone that people know that they can count on.
   • Be a good listener. Many people think that in order to be seen as “friend material” they have to appear very interesting. Far more important than this, however, is the ability to show that you’re interested in others. When you say you’ll do something, do it. Be someone that people know that they can count on. Listen carefully to what people say, remember important details about them (their names, their likes and dislikes), ask questions about their interests, and just take the time to learn more about them. You don’t want to be the guy or girl that always has a better story than anyone else or that changes the subject abruptly instead of continuing the flow of conversation. These people appear too wrapped up in themselves to be good friends.
   • Be trustworthy. One of the best things about having a friend is that you have someone to whom you can talk about anything, even secrets that you hide from the rest of the world. The key to being a good confidante is the ability to keep secrets, so it’s no secret that you shouldn’t tell other people things that were told to you in confidence. Before people even feel comfortable opening up to you, however, you need to build trust. Be honest about yourself and your beliefs, and don’t gossip about others or spread rumors.
   • Be there. You’ve probably heard of fair-weather friends. They’re the ones who are happy to be around you when things are going well, but are nowhere to be found when you really need them. Part of being a friend is being prepared to make sacrifices of your time and energy in order to help out your friends. If a friend needs help with an unpleasant chore, or if he or she just needs a shoulder to cry on, be there.
5. Choose your friends wisely. As you befriend more people, you might find that some are easier to get along with than others. While you should always give people the benefit of the doubt, sometimes you realize that certain friendships are unhealthy, such as if the person is obsessively needy towards you, or constantly critical, or introducing dangers or threats into your life. If this is the case, ease your way out of the friendship as gracefully as possible. Preoccupy yourself with other things, such as a new volunteer opportunity, so that you can honestly say that you don’t have enough time in your schedule to spend time with them (but don’t substitute that time for other friends; they may notice and become jealous, and drama will ensue). Cherish those friends you make who are a positive influence in your life, and do your best to be a positive influence in theirs.

Tips

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  You don’t have to be a superstar to be fun. You don’t even have to do cartwheels. You do need to be positive and friendly, however, so that people feel good when they’re around you. From the very first conversation you have with someone, you should use body language to convey that you are affable, non-threatening, and approachable. Smile frequently, laugh often, and make eye contact. In your words, be confident, but don’t be cocky, condescending, or mean-spirited.

Steps

1. Find yourself. You can’t be yourself if you don’t know, understand, and accept yourself first. Try to take time to yourself and contemplate on your life and choices. Try and think about what kind of things you would or wouldn’t like to do and do them – finding out through trial and error helps more than you would think it does. You can even take personality tests – though take what you want from them and don’t let them define you. Work on accepting mistakes and choices you’ve made – they’re done and its in the past so there is no use crying over spilled milk.
2. Stop caring about how people perceive you. The fact is, it really doesn’t matter. It’s impossible to be yourself when you’re caught up in wondering “Do they think I’m funny? Does she think I’m fat? Do they think I’m stupid?” To be yourself, you’ve got to let go of these concerns and just let your behavior flow, with only your consideration of others as a filter—not their consideration of you. Besides, if you change yourself for one person or group, another person or group may not like you and then you’d be going around in a vicious cycle to please people. It’s totally pointless in the end – though if someone you trust and respect critiques aspects of who you are, feel free to judge (honestly) whether or not it is accurate instead of shutting the critique down automatically or accepting it indefinitely.
3. Be honest and open. What have you got to hide? You’re an imperfect, growing, learning human being. If you feel ashamed or insecure about any aspect of yourself—and you feel you have to hide those parts of you, whether physically or emotionally—then you have to come to terms with that and learn to convert your so-called flaws into individualistic quirks. Be honest to yourself but don’t beat yourself up – apply this philosophy to others as well. There is a difference between being an ass and being honest – learn to watch the way you say things to yourselves and others when being honest.
4. 
   

   Relax. Stop worrying about the worst that could happen, especially in social situations. So what if you fall flat on your face? Or get spinach stuck in your teeth? Learn to laugh at yourself both when it happens and afterwards. Turn it into a funny story that you can share with others. It lets them know that you’re not perfect and makes you feel more at ease, too. Its also a turn on to guys and girls when someone is able to laugh at themselves and not take themselves too seriously!

5. Develop and express your individuality. Whether it’s your sense of style, or even your manner of speaking, if your preferred way of doing something strays from the mainstream, then be proud of it… unless its destructive to yourself or others. Be a character, not a type.
6. Have a Productive Day. Accept that some days you’re the pigeon, and that some days, you’re the statue. People might raise eyebrows and even make fun, but as long as you can shrug and say “Hey, that’s just me” and leave it at that, people will ultimately respect you for it, and you’ll respect yourself.
7. Believe in who you are. If you’re always working to be someone you’re not, you’ll never be a happy person. Be yourself and show the world you’re proud of the way you are! Nobody knows you better than you and that’s how it should be. You deserve to be your own best friend so start trying to figure out HOW you can do that – if you had to hang out with yourself for a day, what is the funnest type of person you could be, while still being yourself? What is the best version of you? Believe in this idea and use that as your starting point. Yea and don’t forget that being yourself and honesty is the best policy! :-)

Tips

• There’s a difference between being yourself and being rude. You might have your opinions, dreams, and preferences, but so does everybody else. You don’t have to disrespect people who disagree with you in order to be yourself; they’re not you.
• If fads or trends strike your fancy, don’t avoid them! Being yourself is all about reflecting who you are inside in what you do, and what you like is what you like, no matter how trendy it is (or not trendy, for that matter)!
• As the famous song goes, “Life’s not worth a damn until you can say, I am what I am” – when you can sincerely say it, you will know that you can be yourself.
• If you don’t agree on what people express as an opinion you don’t need to argue their point or be rude about it, and don’t just act like you agree either because then you would be acting falsely.
• Even if you are interested in something that most people aren’t interested in don’t be afraid or hide it, stand up and show your true inner self. People will know how confident you are.
• Don’t worry about anything but being yourself and living life to the fullest!
• These tips can be internalized and appreciated by learning to give maximum priority to 1. What you like maximally 2. What satisfies you for maximum time and 3. What can be shared with maximum people. This process goes on simultaneously with your blossoming which also goes on continuously [Cf: Namasmaran: Dr. Shriniwas Kashalikar]!